Cooking for Slackers: Spanish style ‘Egg and chips’

Excellent chips are impossible to do without a deep pan. (Air Fryers1 and oven chips2  produce a pale imitation of the real thing.) This recipe is exciting with minimal effort and low, low cost achieved without special equipment.

Ingredients

Two eggs

One potato

Paprika3 There’s all sorts of paprika. Buy to suit your taste and pocket

Technique

Peel and thin slice potato (Thin means translucent)

Splash oil into a cereal bowl

Swoosh slices with fingers until soaked

Get another bowl and whip the eggs into an even liquid (a drop of milk helps)

Heat up frying pan (Fire alarms can go off)

Pour potato into pan. Spread until surface is covered

When brown turn over and repeat

Sprinkle paprika evenly across potato

Pour egg. Tipping pan to reverse the flow to the edge

Split the egg and chips into quarters (It’s easier to get out).

Outcome

Tasty egg and chips where ketchup is redundant.

Finally

Do what you’re comfortable with washing up wise

Notes

1 Top 10 Air Fryers of 2023 – Best Reviews Guide

2 Sainsbury’s Steak Cut Chips 1.5kg | Sainsbury’s (sainsburys.co.uk)

3 Sainsbury’s Paprika 44g | Sainsbury’s (sainsburys.co.uk)

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Is Michael Fabricant MP a good role model?

Role Model:
a person looked to by others as an example to be imitated.

Michael Fabricant is Lichfield’s veteran MP. His majority has increased by a hundredfold between 1997 and 2019.1This is despite the fact that he isn’t an indentikit Conservative. Michael’s taken drugs and is bi-sexual.2 Is he a good role model for the children of his electorate?

The Behaviour codes of six Lichfield secondary schools suggest ‘No’. The uniform and behaviour codes reflect the values of the 1950s and are enforced with uncompromising disciplinary procedures.

Michael is famous for his hair style, see below, and he’d be banned from all six of Lichfield’s schools if he were a student.

 

Lichfield’s Secondary Schools

King Edward VI  appears in the list of Lichfield schools as the ‘best’.3 Their uniform policy is extremely prescriptive and they say this about students’ hair,

Extreme hair styles are not permitted – this includes hair dyed an unnatural colour, or patterns shaved into the hair.3

Erasmus Darwin Academy is a carbon copy of King Edward. Their hair policy is, Extreme hairstyles (such as shaved emblems or lines, unnatural colour dyes, or extreme differences in length) are not allowed.4

The Rawlett School, despite having an exhaustive behaviour policy extending to 23 pages, there’s no mention of hair as a contested arena. They do have a fingernail policy, No acrylic or gel nails or fake eyelashes.5 This innocuous policy became a cause celebre in a ‘Mission Creep’ development.
Chase Terrace Academy go with the flow hair policy-wise but add ‘bells and whistles’, No extreme hairstyles are permitted (including tramlines and Mohican styles). Also, no strongly contrasting or unnatural colouring. Hair bands should be plain and inconspicuous – no flowers or other adornments are permitted.6

The Friary School says, Extremes of hairstyle are not allowed. This would include, but not be limited to, colourings that cannot be naturally grown, any kind of patterning, or lengths of cut that the school considers to be inappropriate.7

Nether Stowe School add nothing, Hairstyles should be neat with no extremes in style, cut or colour. Hair length should not be less than grade 2. Long hair must be tied back for all practical subjects.8,9

Discussion

Lichfield’s schools have a militaristic approach to appearance. The extracts above show how they micro-manage their students. Therefore, Michael is a good  role model. He demonstrates success isn’t achieved by brutish conformity to by-gone eras. Lichfield’s schools should follow their students’ parents who don’t care about Michael’s flamboyant lifestyle.

Notes

1 Lichfield (UK Parliament constituency) – Wikipedia
2 “Sexually, I was far more active with women than I ever have been with blokes, if I’m honest, but I won’t go into detail.” Is Michael Fabricant’s hair real? | indy100
3 Top 10 Secondary Schools in Lichfield District (2022 Ratings) (snobe.co.uk) All the schools discussed in this blog come from this site
3 Uniform | King Edward VI School Lichfield (keslichfield.org.uk)
4 EDA-WAY-2022-2023.pdf
5 2022/23 RAWLETT SCHOOL Behaviour policy – Google Docs For the fingernail policy outcome see School bans students from having long fingernails (yahoo.com)
6 Uniform – Chase Terrace Academy
7 Uniform – The Friary School This statement, “the school considers to be inappropriate.” Means ‘if we don’t like it you can’t have it.
8 School Uniform and PE Kit – Nether Stowe School
9 Watch a 17-Year-Old David Bowie Give a Rare Interview on Long Hair and Gender | Vogue

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A Slacker at work

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Cooking for Slackers: Gourmet tomato soup

A true Slacker will pour a can of soup into a mug and drink: Cold. This recipe is for Slackers who hate crude reductionist diets like that.

Ingredients:

One can of Heinz tomato soup1

Two slices of thick sliced Hovis wholemeal bread

Technique:

Tear a slice of bread into shreds

Splash oil into cereal bowl (circa 10 ml. if you like precision)

Put shredded bread into bowl and swoosh round until soggy.

Stir and fry in a saucepan. Bread will be crispy after a short time

Pour soup in the pan

Stir till hot but not boiling. (Put your finger in and if you scream it’s too hot.)

Keep other slice for mopping up afterwards

Outcome

This is better than ‘soup with croutons’ where bread is a garnish. It’s also a step up in class from slurping soup out of a mug: Cold.

Finally

Wash up unless you don’t want to but NB if you don’t wash up, the cereal bowl will be unpleasant in the morning.

Note

1 Heinz Cream of Tomato Soup 300g | Sainsbury’s (sainsburys.co.uk)

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Cooking for Slackers: The Vegan Option

Working definition: A slacker is a person who will only cook if cornered by hunger.

Slacker cooking: As few ingredients as possible. Minimal preparation.

NB: Alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs don’t count as food.

Recipe One: Baked beans on bread

Ingredients:

Thick sliced wholemeal bread1

200gr Heinz baked beans (small can)2

Technique:

Two slices of thick sliced bread (unbuttered: vegan remember?)

Gently heat baked beans in a saucepan. Don’t heat too fast or the beans get welded to the pan.

Plate up:

Two slices of bread next to each other

Pour beans on them

Get another slice of bread. Tear it in half and mop up the plate. Use the other half to mop up the pan.

Outcome:

Delicious and with virtue signalling for enhanced satisfaction.

Finally:

Wash up unless you don’t want to.

Notes

1 Hovis Wholemeal Thick Bread 800G – Tesco Groceries

2 Heinz Beanz 200gm Small Can (heinzfoodservice.co.uk)

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That’s My Girl!

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Football Review: England vs France, 10th December 2022

I blame British insularity, and Brexit in particular, when England lose matches they should have won. This match, 2-1 to France, is no exception.

The principal English striker, Harry Kane, is a Spurs1, ‘lifer who’s never played in foreign leagues. Despite his English super-star rating he hasn’t won any domestic or international honours. Kane lacks aspiration because of his, and English, insularity. This is typical of the entire team. Only one player currently plays in a European league.2 And only one other has ever played in Europe.3

So what?

The principal French striker, Olivier Giroud, has won honours in England and Italy. In 2018 he won the World Cup making ten honours altogether. Ten players in this team play outside France. They’ve all learned foreign languages, which gives them maturity. They’ve had to be flexible and open to new ideas. These multi-national players are professional in a way English footballers aren’t.

One final point. England isn’t a country. It’s a region within the United Kingdom and they’ve no right to separate representation in the World Cup.

Notes

1 Spurs is an abbreviation for Tottenham Hotspur

2 Jude Bellingham a teenage player for Borussia Dortmond

3 Kieran Trippier with Atletico Madrid. Two seasons including a la Liga title.

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An all-time great complaint

“My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king-sized bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

Complaint to Thomas Cook vacations

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Britain’s Fantasy Economics 1530-2016: a short history

British governments from Henry VIII to David Cameron funded unaffordable aspirations by using other people’s money. This tactic is increasingly difficult to achieve as time passes. British politicians, nonetheless, are addicted to sources of revenue which are unconventional. They believe it’s a viable economic policy and avoids direct taxation. Boris Johnson’s, ‘I want to have my cake and eat it,’ summarises this long-term fantasy. And the outcome, in 2022, is

“…the total cost of servicing the Government’s £2.4trillion debt pile is set to hit an eye-watering £584billion over the next six years – or almost four times the annual budget of the National Health Service.”

The Brexit campaign, 2016, was fuelled by Conservative politicians claiming that they had ‘found’ a new source of revenue. These new funds would enhance Britain creating a globally important economic and military power.2

The dissolution of the monasteries

 Henry VIII spent the overflowing treasury inheritance his father left and then looted the monasteries who were,   

“…spectacularly rich…..[they owned] about one-third of all the land in England and Wales.3

Henry used this looted capital as revenue. Once it had evaporated, Britain was poor again. The Stuarts, 1603-1714, inherited a country which was poor and resistant to their taxation policies. Despite some very imaginative sleights of hand, which were temporarily successful, they provoked a terminal crisis.4

Forced Loans, 1626, and Ship Money, 1634

Charles I was despised by parliament who rejected his taxation propositions. They believed he was a Roman Catholic, manipulated by ‘evil’ advisors. Ingeniously, Charles by-passed parliament with Forced Loans and Ship Money. Both were more-or-less legal but were hated by the tax-paying gentry. About 30%  refused to pay, or organise their collection. This was a ‘Red flag’ situation, which Charles ignored.

Parliament became an implacable enemy and further taxation requests were refused. Civil war broke out, 1641, and eight years later he was executed as a ‘Man of Blood’.

Imperialism 1700-1900

Britain brutally exploited its empire. From 1763 the Caribbean sugar islands turbo-charged the slave trade.5 Slavery enriched British society, including the middle-classes. It caused moral questioning and the slave trade ended in 1806. (It was abolished totally in 1833.6) Shortly afterwards Britain became an international drug dealer. The Opium Wars7 forced China to import Indian opium, which enriched Britain. Chinese addiction was British economic policy from 1839. Slavery and drug dealing helped Britain to become the world’s ‘policeman’. It was simultaneously the wealthiest and most powerful nation until the two world wars. These catastrophes bankrupted her and demoted her to the second rank of countries.

North Sea Oil, 1979-present

Margaret Thatcher inherited North Sea Oil revenues in 1979. This cornucopia was squandered for short term political advantage.8 She followed Henry VIII’s template and the opportunity to stop Britain’s terminal decline was lost. Once again capital was converted into revenue and long-term investments weren’t made. Thatcher was addicted to quick fix ‘solutions’. She doubled down on her North Sea Oil disaster with privatisations of public assets. The failure of privatisation, as an economic policy, ended in 2016. The last throw of fantasy economics came when Conservative politicians9 orchestrated a win in the Brexit referendum

Conclusion

The post-Covid world exposed British economic fragility. Rishi Sunak, Britain’s latest prime minister, is trying to recalibrate British economic policy,

“…any possible benefits of Brexit, of which there have been precious few to date…were snuffed out by the Sunak-Hunt determination to put fiscal rectitude above everything else.10 (my emphasis)

A recalibration of economic policy will demand brutal spending decisions, starting with Defence. This will be fiercely resisted. The recognition that Britain has lived in an economic fantasy world for 100s of years will damage many egos. The electoral penalty for shattering delusions could be terminal as the public have been taught to believe in Rule Britannia. British politicians feel entitled to strut the world stage.

Notes

1 Britain to have the highest debt burden of any major economy as cost of servicing Government’s £2.4trn debt pile balloons (msn.com)

2 The British Army’s Global Delusions | Odeboyz’s Blog (oedeboyz.com) see also for the Royal Navy Thirteen Ships and Thirty-six Admirals: The Royal Navy, 2022 | Odeboyz’s Blog (oedeboyz.com)

3 How wealthy were the monasteries in England and Wales? – Search (bing.com)

4 1629-40 parliamentary civil war; 1641-49 three civil wars; 1649-60 regime change; 1660-88 regime change; 1688 civil war/invasion plus regime change Forced Loan 1626 – Causes and effects table in A Level and IB History (getrevising.co.uk) This is a revision crib for A level students and it’s very crisp. For Ship Money see Ship money – Wikipedia

5 Treaty of Paris (1763) – Key Provisions, Outcomes & Significance – World History Edu

6 How the first Black Community was formed in London after 1772 | Odeboyz’s Blog (oedeboyz.com) and see also the cost to the British taxpayer of abolishing slavery The Price of Virtue: Bailing out Slave-owners 1833 | Odeboyz’s Blog (oedeboyz.com)

7 opium wars – Search (bing.com)

8 The Ricardian Curse, Margaret Thatcher and North Sea Oil | Odeboyz’s Blog (oedeboyz.com)

9 Non-Conservatives also supported Brexit but the principal cheer-leaders were Conservatives.

10 The week Rishi Sunak and Jeremy Hunt killed the dream of any Brexit dividend stone dead  | Daily Mail Online The Mail is a right-wing Brexit cheer leader and this is shocking.

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Putin frightens a Drunk

A drunk fell down into a St Petersburg gutter. Looking up he saw a gigantic floodlit poster of Putin towering above him. A policeman on patrol heard him say;

Drunk: “I’ll never drink again. I’ll never touch another drop.”
Policeman: “Why do you say that?”
Drunk: “Putin’s smiling at me.”

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