Tedious Rubbish

I don’t care to watch weddings
More especially, Royal weddings
I couldn’t care less, about her dress
Who made or what’s on her head.

Gushing commentators, fawning
Pageantry, of the rich, leaves me sick
Dreary precious precocious drivel
Inflicted on innocent socialists.

Given the amount of media coverage
Pages and pages of inane details
Importance, distorted into sophistry
Triviality laboured  out of nonsense.

Is it right that one marriage should deem
The world to cease, or stop to watch
‘Blue rinse ladies’ in hats
Well, that’s not for me!

A rich bloke gets married, so what
To a commoner no less
Tut tut – who cares
I’d sooner stick pins in my eyes.

Tell the proletariat – their just jealous
They have access to the public purse
After all – is there not the workhouse
They could dress in their very best sacking.

As the Royal carriage passes
Might a few farthings be tossed
To the bumpkins idolising the procession
Perhaps not, – they might not understand.

Upper class is designed to rule
Middle class carries it out
Whilst those at the bottom
Carry the toilet rolls.


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Private Eye cartoon May 2018

Ever felt like doing this sort of protest but didn’t have the courage?

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A scene from ‘Cheers’ [an American sitcom set in a pub]

Sam: What’ll you have Norm?

Norm: Well, I’m in a gambling mood Sam. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.

Sam: Looks like beer, Norm.

Norm: Call me Mr Lucky.


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A young diplomat

A man walked into the green grocery section of a supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. Even when told they only sold entire heads he still argued with the boy who was working there. Eventually the boy to went to get the manager. He said, “Some old bugger wants to buy a half head of lettuce,” then he noticed the man had followed him into the managers office, “but this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.”

The manager was very impressed by the boy and asked where he came from as he didn’t have a local accent.

New Zealand, sir.”

Why have you come to England, son?”

Well there’s nothing there except prostitutes and rugby players.”

Really! My wife is from New Zealand.”

What position did she play?”

Chris R

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Every Immigrant is Undesirable: British policy 1905-2018

British immigration policy isn’t driven by humanitarian principles. Anti-immigrant legislation began in 1905 with the Aliens Act. Mass immigration from Eastern Europe was halted in 1905 because most were destitute and wealth was the sole criterion used for desirability. Nazi Germany, in the 1930s, created a hostile environment inducing Jews to emigrate. Britain, amongst other countries, ignored humanitarian arguments to ease immigration controls. Latterly, a series of civil wars in the Middle East have created large numbers of refugees. Most flee to Jordan, Lebanon and Syria. Those who flee to Europe don’t find a refuge in Britain as immigration controls aren’t loosened. British immigration policy is a psycho-drama where refugees are always a problem. The narrative arc has been consistent for the last 113 years: Britain is the Promised Land and immigrants are undesirable1.


The 1905 Aliens Act satirised

The 1905 Aliens Act ended open-door entry into Britain. Destitute Eastern European Jews fleeing Tsarist persecution were denied entry into Britain even if it saved lives. Parliament focused on wealth as the criterion for entry. Immigrants travelling steerage (the cheapest way of travelling on a ship) were de facto undesirable. For some MPs even this was too lax:

… if the mere fact of paying a few extra shillings took these persons out of the category of steerage passengers, this Bill was not a sufficient protection to the people of these islands who wished to be protected from these aliens2.(my emphasis)

This amendment was lost as the Home Secretary pointed out that a large number of immigrants were en route to the USA.

Immigrant’ became synonymous with ‘Jew’. British 1930s anti-Semitism didn’t find Hitler’s views repugnant though there was never mass support for religious persecution. Germany’s increasingly hostile environment increased migration. British and American anti-Semitism meant even eminent German Jews like Albert Einstein only managed, with difficulty, to get visas. Military ‘immigrants’ like the Polish air force and the defeated French army obviously entered the country by force majeur3 in 1940.

The much lauded Kindertransport4 had buried within it an anti-humanitarian message. Kindertransport children had no right to remain in 1939. Adults weren’t permitted because British politicians wanted the children returned after the ’emergency’. After Churchill accepted Stalin’s demands for control of Eastern Europe, Polish pilots and soldiers suddenly realised that they would be handed over to the NKVD (Stalin’s Gestapo). It took an act of parliament5 to prevent jobsworth Home Office officials forcibly deporting them to an almost certain death.

Notwithstanding evidence of the significant contribution that immigrants make to Britain, anti-immigrant policy has hardened since 1945. In 2018 immigration policy now excludes skilled professionals who’ve been offered senior positions in hospitals and other areas of the economy. Immigration is now not a matter of wealth6 but is a tick-box exercise where only numbers matter7. The undesirable axiom now means that all immigrants are undesirable regardless of their known skills and predicted contribution to the well-being of Britain.

1 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ricardian_economics The analogy is that Britain seems to have a belief that British people have a competitive advantage over all other people.

2 Herbert Robertson MP for Hackney, London, where a very large number of immigrant Jews lived is quoted here in the debate. In 2018 immigrant has become synonymous with Muslim in exactly the same borough. https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1905/jul/11/aliens-bill-1 col 335. That it wasn’t anti-Semitic can be seen from the remarks about Argentinian pseudo-sailors who pretended to be sailors simply to disembark without going through any immigration procedure. Col 340ff
3 (a) The defeated Polish air force literally flew into Britain later making huge contribution to the Battle of Britain. (b) The defeated French army at Dunkirk of 75,000 French soldiers were evacuated by the Royal Navy. see https://oedeboyz.com/2014/09/19/the-polish-air-force-1939-40/ for the contribution of the Polish air force to the battle of Britain.

4 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kindertransport

5 About 200,000 Polish citizens were rewarded for their immense contribution to the war effort with British citizenship and pensions. https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Geo6/10-11/19 Even this was extorted out of an unwilling government.

6 https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/shortcuts/2013/dec/10/want-to-buy-citizenship-super-rich-malta-passports

7 https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/oct/04/jeremy-hunt-accused-devaluing-contribution-foreign-doctors-to-uk and for IT and engineering workers see http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-44113324


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A scene from ‘One foot in the grave’ [two elderly people who constantly bicker: Margaret is the wife]

Sales Assistant: We can have it delivered to you first thing Monday morning.

Margaret Meldrew: Not until then?

Sales Assistant: Isn’t that alright?

Margaret Meldrew: All right? I’ve just spent the most unutterably miserable week of my entire life coping with a husband deprived of his television set. If I have to prolong that agony for another hour, let alone another weekend, I may just do something very regrettable with a pair of razor-tipped salad tongs.


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Film Review: Lean on Pete – Charlie Plummer and Steve Buscemi

Lean on Pete is a charming film about a fifteen year old boy who’s living a ‘trailer trash’ life. His father is a feckless, irresponsible man who’s fallen out with Charlie’s (Yes! Charlie Plummer and the principal character are both called Charlie) auntie. She was the one stable element in Charlie’s life and abandoned Charlie to his father’s care.

Charlie goes for early morning runs and has a strong work ethic. He joins up with a failed horse trainer, Des Montgomery (Steve Buscemi). Charlie quickly shows that he isn’t afraid of horses or hard work. Des is a dodger and diver and uses underhand tricks to get his horses to win races in very poor races. He then sells the horses on to Mexican abattoirs. Charlie is still young enough to care about horses and his horse Lean on Pete is due to be slaughtered and so Charlie rescues him.

The American fondness for up-beat endings kicks in and, for me, spoils a terrific film. Charlie decides to take Lean on Pete to his aunties house in Wyoming, which is nearly a 1000 miles away from Spokane. Without a compass & with a road map he gets part way in his truck and walks the remainder. Needless to relate Charlie get there and is greeted like the prodigal son. Charlie’s turns into a poster boy for Rugged Individualism and the American Way.

Why you should watch this film: Charlie Plummer is superb

Why you shouldn’t watch this film: An implausible end ruins it

For an alternative review go to https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/lean_on_pete/


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