Monthly Archives: April 2014

Chinese Revolutionaries: a joke

What did Chinese revolutionaries throw at the US embassy in Beijing? Visa applications.

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Goodbye Francis

The last words exchanged“Have a nice holiday Frances”.“I will Mike” her voice strongBelying her eighty something years. Accompanied by her sisterThe mini-cab tooting impatiently They were off to the airportThe adventure to be savoured. Memories of the old countryStill thinking … Continue reading

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The 9/11 Massacre: a statistical comment

In 2001 2,416,425 Americans died. However, only 2985 of them really, really mattered. Those 2985 people were the victims of the 9/11 massacre orchestrated by Osama bin Laden. Immediately military action was called for, coalitions created and America was at … Continue reading

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Opinion Poll: a surprise result

In a public opinion survey, 1214 people in Liverpool were asked, “Which city is Britain’s second city?” 100% replied, “London” (Chris)

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My Designer Head

My Rasta multi- coloured wig Makes a big statement. Setting off the new me. My engineers sculpted my face: A chin modelled on Michael Douglas and wide- spaced eyes like Ghenghis Khan’s, complete with an Imperial Roman nose. Genius chemists, … Continue reading

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The beautiful City

Some years ago (OK more than I should have let pass) a couple of our group of close friends suggested we visit Paris. Jan, was immediately up for it, but as always, all I could envisage was foreign food and … Continue reading

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A Bob Monkhouse joke (1980s)

People always say: “You’re a comedian, tell us a joke!” They don’t say: “You’re a politician, tell us a lie!”

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Gran’s great big iron mangle

Gran’s great big iron Mangle   Granny had a mangle It really was a beast Squishy boiled bloated clothes It’s very favourite feast   Monday’s saw the wash board down And scrubbed the clothes were sent From the huge great … Continue reading

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From Mark Twain to Barack Obama

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Horse Racing: a joke

When the winner of the Grand National got back to the stables he remarked to the horse in the next box, “Well that boosted my self- esteem!”

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