Tag Archives: humorous paradox

The Wrong Answer

Emperor Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man who looked so similar that he could have been his brother. Intrigued he asked: “Did your mother work in the Imperial Palace?” “No, Your Highness. But my father did.”

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Texas: The Miracle State

Bill moved to Texas because of the excellent climate. His new neighbour who was an older man. One day when they were chatting he asked, “Is this a really healthy place to live?” “It sure is. When I first arrived … Continue reading

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Two aliens discuss invading Earth

Alien One: I’ve researched our invasion plans. Alien Two: What’s your report? Alien One: Humans have harnessed the power of the atom and created extremely powerful weapons. Alien Two: What’s your recommendation? Alien One: Invade. They’re designed for slaughtering each … Continue reading

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Joe and the Three Legged Chicken

Joe was driving and noticed a chicken keeping pace with him. Just then the chicken accelerated using all three legs. Joe followed the chicken down the lane into a barnyard. ‘Did you see a chicken running really fast?’ he asked … Continue reading

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An Oscar Wilde Quip

“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”

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A 70 year old lady applies to a university

Interviewer: “I think it’s marvellous that you want to do a degree at 70 years old but I have a question. What’s your motivation?” Elderly candidate: “My husband has always dreamed of sleeping with a student.” Chris

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Pizza as a metaphor for marriage

A wise man took his son to one side just before he got married and said, “When you understand why a pizza is made round; is put in a square box; and is eaten in triangles. Then son, you’ll understand … Continue reading

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Don’t trust a parrot who prays

A religious woman bought a parrot and took it home. Once home the bird hopped into its new cage, shouting, “I’m a whore! I’m a whore!” Obviously embarrassed she consulted her minister about her foul-mouthed bird. The minister told her, … Continue reading

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A gorilla walks into a bar

A gorilla walked into a bar and ordered a Martini. The bartender is amazed, but he thinks, “What the hell.” So he mixes the Martini. As he passes it across the bar the gorilla pays with a twenty pound note. … Continue reading

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Basic humour

  Pete

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