Tag Archives: Irish humour

An Irish Court

Eight hours into his trial Paddy changed his plea to guilty. The very irritated judge said, “Why didn’t you plead guilty immediately and save the court’s time?” “Well. Until I’d heard the evidence I thought I was innocent.”

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Why Mercedes builds the best cars in the world

Rory Mcllroy drove his new Mercedes into an Irish petrol station. An attendant greeted him in a typical Irish manner, unaware that McIlroy is a world famous golfer. “Top o’ the mornin’ to ya.” When Rory got out of the … Continue reading

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Stealing the honest way

An Englishman stole three buns from a bakery and said to his friend, “That took skill and guile. The owner doesn’t know a thing about it.” His Irish friend said, “That’s simple thievery. I’ll do the same but honestly and … Continue reading

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An Irish painter by the name of Murphy was a gifted portrait artist

Murphy’s fame grew rapidly and soon people from all over Ireland to get him to paint their likenesses. One day, a beautiful young English woman arrived at his house in a stretch limo and asked if he would paint her … Continue reading

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A Compassionate Irishman

Paddy phones an ambulance because his mate’s been hit by a car. Paddy: ‘Get an ambulance here quick, he’s bleeding from his nose and I tink both his legs are broken.’ Operator: ‘What is your location sir?’ Paddy: ‘Outside number … Continue reading

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