After weeks, with nothing to do
The phobia’s did grow
Claustrophobia – well that one, was new
Agoraphobia was raring to go.
“Pull yourself together”, she did say,
“There are far worse off, than you
Make the most of each bright day
Don’t just sit at home, as you do”.
“Come with me. shopping is fun
It’s been so long, you’ll see how it’s done”
I wasn’t sure, I wanted to learn
I had more than a mild frenzied concern.
The hard cold streets, seemed quite the same
But things were quite different, I found
Handed a face mask, “wear that,” I was told,
Things were prescribed and very controlled.
First, there was queueing, I wasn’t convinced
Outside, we stood – what was I doing?
I quickly got bored, with no end in sight
Convinced we would be there, well into night.
Once inside the shop, walk only where shown
Arrowed, directions aisle after aisle
I fought temptation to moan
I had already slogged, mile upon mile.
With the basket, brim full, I suppose it did show
I was bored to death and just wanted to go
But the dreadful checkout, did loom next
I know it was silly to be so sulkily vexed.
Again there was queueing, two meters apart,
I hated it all, right from the start
If given the choice of shopping or home
I’ll simply declare, my phobia syndrome.
I’ll stay where I am, cos I know my place
It’s not tramping the streets, or standing in queues
That way, I won’t be a total disgrace
And never again suffer shopping abuse.