13:21 13:21 13:21
It’s 13 minutes and 21 seconds:
It’s the Odeboyz weekly shop PB*
It’s climbing Everest without oxygen
It’s rowing the Atlantic single- handedly
It’s stunning. It’s beyond belief. It’s 100% Kosher.
It’s a no tweaking, no fine- tuning shop
It’s a slingshot of ambition.
There was training.
Training! Checking shelf layouts,
A shopping list created with precision
Till girls carefully scrutinised.
Psychological profiling. Weeding out time wasters
Chatty girls and inquisitive girls
And the worried and pre- occupied.
Stop watch primed. Ready to rock ‘n’ roll
Odeboyz smooth, very smooth, flowing
Pouncing on gaps like a salmon hurtling upstream.
Sinuously round gaggles of children and
OAP’s** chatting at the end of aisles and
Shelf- stackers, crouching like trolls and
Ditherer’s shopping without lists.
Trolley filled. Shopping done.
Odeboyz’s greatest peril is the till.
But trusting famed judgement, research and
Breathing in a non- hyperventilating way
Calm, assured and poised with the exact money
Odeboyz sweeps shopping into the gaping bags-for-life
Neatly arranged for maximum efficiency
And quickly, but unhurried, claims the PB.
13:21! If only Odeboyz had someone to tell.
*Personal Best: an improved time in a race against yourself
** Old Age Pensioners