Bugger: It wasn’t grim up North

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A Lee Evans joke

I love kebabs, they give you all that meat, that saturated fat, and they give you that little bit of salad. What’s that, the healthy section? Never see a drunk do that, do you? “Where’s me salad! What you trying to do, kill me?”

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Latch Key Kid, Leeds, 1950s

During the war my father worked brutal hours building bombers. He worked for 20 days and then had a day off. His shifts were 12 hours on, 12 off, which alternated every 20 days between days and nights. He made good wages because he was paid union rates, which included overtime. In 1945 his wages plummeted when he returned to building sites.

I was born in 1945 and mum stayed at home until I was seven, then she went to work. That’s when I became a Latch Key Kid.

A ‘latch key kid’ had the door key on a string round their neck. When you got home you came into an empty house. As I couldn’t reach the lock, my dad built me a box, which I stood on. It was understood that if there was a problem, that I should go next door. Obviously there were other places as well. For example, my friends’ mums invited me in. But it was difficult to go every day. So, I didn’t.

The national press were against ‘latch key kids’ because it meant mothers weren’t doing their ‘job’. It was assumed ‘latch key kids’ were neglected and a symptom of the breakdown of society. It was also assumed it was a sign of grinding poverty, which wasn’t the case with us. Although we were poor, we always, as the saying goes, ’had food on the table’. People in grinding poverty didn’t eat every day. ‘Latch key kids’ like me were accepted. I was never bullied but we were seen as very ‘poor’. I was a ‘latch key kid because my mum was aspirational.

Part of the stigma was that mum was seen to be failing. There were ferocious expectations. My dad hated the fact that mum went to work and what was worse, she went for money. But the war had changed everything. Mum was keen to ‘get on’ and achieve things. This meant that I had to grow up and take responsibility for myself.

Children weren’t pampered by over-anxious parents. Protective micro-managing of children would have been laughable.

‘Taking a child to school. You must be mad! Why? Are you afraid of kidnapping’? 

And, of course, that is exactly what people nowadays are frightened of. There’s an assumption of disaster, mayhem and chaos. Parents live in a state of terror. Trivialities like crime data are dismissed and people use very rare incidents to prove that they must take their children to school. Rare events are believed to be commonplace.

A ’latch key kid’ in Leeds in the 1950s came back to a freezing cold house during the winter. We had ‘proper’ winters in those days, with many days of snow, frosty days and bleak slab gray skies with drizzle. I made a coal fire but it was slow to warm the house. My mum baked a lot and so there was often a scone, or a piece of cake left out for me. Failing that there was home baked bread which was sliced ready for me. Obviously we didn’t have a fridge and so butter was on the table….in summer it was very, very soft.

There are no infallible ways of bringing up a child. A 2025 version of a ‘latch key kid’ would attract hostile attention. A child aged seven not being picked up from school by an adult….Shock, Horror!

The past is a different country; they do things differently there.1

Note

1 L. P. Hartley – Wikiquote

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Creative Thinking

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A cosy night in

Jim and Sarah were watching TV when he got up and left the room. After a couple of minutes, he came back in wearing a coat, hat and scarf.

“Are you going out Jim?”

“No. I’ve turned the heating off.”

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Britain’s most expensive house in understandable money

The most expensive house in Britain has been sold for £139m1

£139m is a figure which is very difficult to understand for ordinary people. So! This translation might help.

£139,000,000 divided by a thousand pounds per day is 13,900 days

13,900 days is 38.08 years

The most expensive house in Britain was sold for the equivalent of you spending a £1000 a day for 38 years.

This is a reason for a wealth tax, which might not be the worst idea in the political world.

Note

1 Britain’s ‘White House’ with 40 bedrooms, a ballroom & underground swimming pool is sold to mystery buyer for £139m

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Victoria Wood on vegetables

“My children won’t even eat chips because some know-all bastard at school told them a potato was a vegetable.”

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Book Review: Martin Cruz Smith ~ Hotel Ukraine (2025)

Authors who create wonderful characters own a gold mine.1 Killing a ‘Golden Goose’ is very expensive. Lee Child outsourced the Reacher series to his brother. Ian Ranken’s Rebus recently was imprisoned for murder and then solved a murder and lives on. Reacher and Rebus live forever!

Martin Cruz Smith’s eleventh Arkady Renko bucks the trend. This is the last one

Smith gives him a wonderful send-off. Renko carefully conceals his Parkinson’s disease knowing that if it’s discovered he’d have to retire. The book is set in the present. The Ukraine war is corroding Russian society with the well-connected evading wartime service. Russian gangsterism is rampant and permeates the armed forces. The war is savage and Smith blames gangsters who are present at all levels of government.

The murder of a government official leads to a quasi-official gangster organisation, and a member of the elite FSB collaborating.2 They are plotting against Putin whilst being shock-troops for the army.

Arkady Renko triumphs and bows out FOR EVER!

Definitely worth reading.

Notes

1 The first Reacher novel came out in 1997; the first Rebus novel came out in 1987. Cruz’s Arkady Renko novels began in 1981 – 44 years ago!

2 FSB is the successor to the KGB

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Why Sherlock Holmes wasn’t Scottish

“Police have arrested a 75-year-old man in connection with the death of 65-year-old dog walker who was shot dead on a countryside track…..

Police Scotland had initially believed that Low’s death was non-suspicious and medically related, but a medical examination six days after his body was discovered established that he had injuries consistent with being fatally shot.” [my emphasis]

Source: The Guardian 25th May 2024 p32

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Book Lover

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