American Prison Joke

Q: Why are white guys frightening?
A: Because you know they’re guilty.

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P G Wodehouse on marriage

He fell in love, got married—with a sort of whoop, as if it were the greatest fun in the world—and then began to find out things

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A Comprehensive Analysis

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, flummoxed, speechless, perplexed, and gobsmacked.

Meanwhile, those waiting for the shipment were at a loss for words.

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More conspiring than thee

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Book Review: Philip Kerr ~ False Nine (2015)

The late great Philip Kerr produced a wonderful series about the Nazi era detective, Bernie Gunther. A finely tuned understanding of the Nazi hierarchy and their corruption, sadism and gangster mentality made the series compelling. As if that wasn’t enough he was well on the way to creating another stunning character, Scott Manson, when he died aged 62 in 2018

 His new character is a black footballer, transformed into a superb manager, with sleuthing skills as a bonus. He’s also a barroom political philosopher, which grated on his liberal readership (me!)

False Nine is a classic ‘whodunit’ with an intricate plot, more-or-less believable characters and written at a page-turning pace. The story is littered with named footballers, which adds to its charm.

Absolutely recommended to all football fans and those who like thrillers.

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Miles Davis on *White Music*

“…I’m quitting Julliard1 because what they’re teaching me is white and I’m not interested in that….before I quit Juilliard…I took some lessons in symphonic trumpet playing…Trumpet players from the New York Philharmonic orchestra gave me lessons, so I learned some things from them.”

Note

1 Julliard School of Music is world renowned and for a black student to enter it in the mid-1940s shows how brilliant Miles Davis was in every aspect of music. He travelled from East St. Louis to Julliard, which is in New York, which is a 1,000 miles. Julliard recruits from all over the USA and has a rigorous entry policy. Juilliard School: Acceptance Rate, Tuition, Requirements, and More – Music School Central

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The perfect gift for an IKEA manager

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Bertrand Russell on War

Patriots always talk of dying for their country and never of killing for their country.

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A KGB* joke

The regional KGB headquarters in Arkhangelsk suffered a major fire and was almost completely destroyed. Shortly after, a man phoned.

“I’m sorry, we can’t do anything,” said the receptionist. “The KGB has burnt down.”
Five minutes later, the receptionist received another call. “I’m sorry, we can’t help. The KGB has burnt down.”
Another five minutes passed, and the phone rang again. The receptionist recognised the voice as the man who’d twice called previously.
“Why do you keep calling? I told you that the KGB has burnt down.”

“I know. I just like hearing it.

Note

* The KGB was the feared secret police of the Soviet Union. Putin learned the tricks of the trade when he was an officer with them

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Anything for a quiet life

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