Hackney Borough Council is very old
It is poor, yet there are rich people there
It is cosmopolitan, yet it is still cockney
A fair share of crooks but a nice place to behold.

I have been in every part of that place
From Stamford Hill to Shoreditch
Five miles of places, Stoke Newington to Homerton
Made welcome there in just about any place.

I worked under The Earl of Haggerston
He made me laugh – a natural comedian
Neighbours to Nobby White (the armed robber)
Drinking mates with Lou Hawks, a Dunkirk survivor.

Swam naked in Whiston Road Baths, with my Dad
Walked down Mare Street in my wedding suit
Courted a girl from Sandringham Road – her dig’s
Shopped in Ridley Road, but we were then just kids.

One Bank Holiday Friday, a woman, I haven’t said till now
The road was flooded deep, I was behind her, we ploughed on
As she came out into shallower water, she stopped…
Leaving me in the deepest part, the stupid stupid cow.

In knee deep water, I had to walk to Defoe Road depot, what a mistake
Wet through, I picked up a Council van, and drove to Pitfield Street
It was supposed to be a burst, gushing pipe, but it wasn’t
A dripping basin tap, was keeping a morons moronic son awake.

The tribulations of a plumber, an interaction with a selfish man
Returning the van, I told Harry Tungsten, he shouldn’t have accepted the call
We both were angry, I was accused of being a primadonna, he… an idiot
By the time I got back to my car, I didn’t have a master plan.

It took days to tow my car, the garage said it wasn’t so bad
Just replaced leads, plugs and a coil, it took longer to dry out the seats
But life goes on, my daily work was long, flying from area to area
Each job a different challenge, over all for my work in Hackney, I was glad.

Bill Shutler offered a management course; with a diploma at the end
I enjoyed the course, at North London Polytechnic college
A lot of work; after a year, I passed with flying colours
So now I’m just another one, of the agony council blend.

Mike