A Dialect Now Seldom Heard

I dun’t bleedin ‘adam n eve it’ (believe it)
Mr ‘truble- n- strife’ (Wife)
Recons anuver ‘saucepan lid’s’ on the way (Kid)
Always appens when I as a few ‘elephants ears’ (beers)
It’s bang ‘Alan Boarder’ (out of order)
It could, I spose, ave somfink to do with the ‘Artful Dodger’ (Lodger)
I said you’re avin a ‘bubble barf’ (laugh)
The last time I was dahn ‘The Nuclear-Sub’ (Pub)
I came ome, more interested in a ‘Jimmy Riddle’ (Piddle)
From now oine , I’ll use The Offy from the ‘Battle Cruiser’ (Boozer)
Couldn’t ‘Adam-n-Eve’ it (Believe)
The last one ad Ginger ‘barnet fair’ (Hair)
Nah this! Wher am I going to get the ‘Bread –n-honey’ (Money)
I fink I’m paying for er loose ‘Alan Wickers’ (Knickers)
And the Artful – still owes me an ‘Ayrton Senner’ (Tenner)
Im – all innocent, wiv his ‘Chubby-Chase’ (Face)
Callin me as ‘his old ‘China-Plate’ (Mate)
I should ave a better ‘Butchers –hook’ (Look)
At where she’s ‘spreadin-er-pegs’ (Legs)
And give the artful, my boot up his ‘bottle -n-glass’ (Arse)

(Mike)

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