Successfully looking for a divorce

A policeman stopped a man who was driving a Mercedes 20 mph over the 55mph speed limit. He said, “I’m stopping you for speeding.”

The driver replied, “It was only a little over 55.”

His wife said, “Oh Stuart! You were doing 80 and hit the brakes when you saw the police!”

Stuart gave his wife a dirty look.

The policeman said, “I’m also booking you for a broken tail light.”

“Broken tail light? I didn’t know I had a broken tail light.”

His wife exclaimed, “Stuart. You’ve known about it for weeks.”

He gave his wife another dirty look.

The policeman continued, “I’m also booking you for not wearing a seat belt.”

I took it off when you were walking up to the car.”

“Stuart. You never wear a seat belt!”

Stuart burst out, “Shut your mouth, Susan!”

The policeman took a moment, and said, “Does your husband always talk to you like that?”

“Only when he’s drunk.”

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