A policeman stopped a man who was driving a Mercedes 20 mph over the 55mph speed limit. He said, “I’m stopping you for speeding.”
The driver replied, “It was only a little over 55.”
His wife said, “Oh Stuart! You were doing 80 and hit the brakes when you saw the police!”
Stuart gave his wife a dirty look.
The policeman said, “I’m also booking you for a broken tail light.”
“Broken tail light? I didn’t know I had a broken tail light.”
His wife exclaimed, “Stuart. You’ve known about it for weeks.”
He gave his wife another dirty look.
The policeman continued, “I’m also booking you for not wearing a seat belt.”
“I took it off when you were walking up to the car.”
“Stuart. You never wear a seat belt!”
Stuart burst out, “Shut your mouth, Susan!”
The policeman took a moment, and said, “Does your husband always talk to you like that?”
“Only when he’s drunk.”