Tell all overweight children
It’s a special diet for you now
If you are hungry, you can eat as much
Slug slime as you like.

Or if you prefer, crushed beetle legs
With worms flesh don’t forget the fleas eggs
You may have a rats tails in a sandwich of raw fish skin
Or raw chicken feet – liquefied of course.

A soup of flies wings and millipedes legs, is nice
You may like to have, toe nail clippings steeped in….
Bat’s milk and ear wax jelly with bogies
Is there is no end to these delicacies?

Rabbit droppings, with dogs wee
Scorpion’s tails with monkey dribble
Or, if you take an Eskimo’s cod piece
And boil it with a Elephant seals nose, that’s fine.

Goodness me, never did we have such food
No more should you seek pop and sugar
All those pampering foods just makes you fat
follow these temptations, and you will become slim.

It will also be said you’ve become quite thin
My diet doesn’t count calories or carbs
You won’t need to sweat over insulting barbs
What’s more you won’t even need to visit the gym.

So remember – we reflect what we eat
Make silly choices – you’ll no longer be sleek
So hair lice with nits, along with mouse bits
All all better than Southern fried grits.

I’ve yet to meet any kid willing to try my diet
In fact many display, in mild disquiet
But that’s no reason why alternatives can’t be tried
But in these matters, perhaps I’m not really qualified.

Mike