Debris in the kitchen/living room must be removed. Not doing so is sub-optimal.

To business. Offering a cup of coffee¹ is standard unless they’re hard-core and want tea. But you will spring a surprise. There will be wonderful plates of snacks, which reek of love and tenderness.

Zeitgeist Crackers

All over the country people are painting St. George crosses on roundabouts and hanging flags from lamp-posts. Join in. Show that you too are a patriot.

A zeitgeist cracker is a patriotic cracker. Cheap, quick, and impressive

Ingredients

A handful of raspberries

Cream cheese

Crackers

Technique

Mash the raspberries gently – maintaining the texture

Smear cream cheese onto the cracker…Not too thickly because that makes it messy to eat

Use a knife to draw a cross

Carefully follow the lines with your raspberry mix

Voila! A St George cracker

An over-achieving Slacker

This might be because you want to borrow (ha-ha) money or have a residual fear of them

Ingredients

A banana

A handful of blueberries

Crackers

Technique

Mash up the blueberries and banana keeping them firm enough to go on a cracker

Serve onto crackers

Outcome

Massive parental pride and delight in ‘how-you’ve-changed’ from the slob you once were.

Note 1 Cooking for Slackers: Barista Coffee | Odeboyz’s Blog