Jim is reporting back to a mass meeting. “Brothers! I think you will want to approve the outcome, which was the result of many hours of gruelling discussions.”

First. The management have agreed an 8% pay rise with three months back pay.

(Wild cheering)

Second. The management have agreed that paternity pay will extend to ten weeks.

(Wild cheering from younger men, booing from some older men)

Third. And I think everyone will like this one.

( Shouts of “Get on with it.” “Stop being a tease”.)

If I can proceed I’ll take questions after I’ve completed my report.

Third. The management has agreed to reduce the working week to Wednesdays

(The meeting erupts with wild applause)

Thank you Brothers for your attention. Now. Could I take a show of hands indicating approval to the proposals.

(Wild cheering and men standing on tables waving their hands in the air)

Thank you Brothers. So that’s approved. Any questions?

Voice from the back. Is that every bloody Wednesday?