A man walked into the green grocery section of a supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. Even when told they only sold entire heads he still argued with the boy who was working there. Eventually the boy to went to get the manager. He said, “Some old bugger wants to buy a half head of lettuce,” then he noticed the man had followed him into the managers office, “but this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.”
The manager was very impressed by the boy and asked where he came from as he didn’t have a local accent.
“New Zealand, sir.”
“Why have you come to England, son?”
“Well there’s nothing there except prostitutes and rugby players.”
“Really! My wife is from New Zealand.”
“What position did she play?”