My Clever Fridge

My fridge is a clever fridge
And
It can read bar codes
And
It can read ‘best before’ dates
And
It is an online fridge
And
It orders food that I love
And
It orders food that I should love.

My fridge is a clever fridge
And
It knows when food is out- of- date
And
It shovels it into the recycling bin
And
It is an online fridge
And
It wont order red meat even though I love it
And
It orders broccoli and greens.

My fridge is a clever fridge
And
It hates my friends when they bring beer
And
It hates my friends when they say, “Chill it fridge.”
And
It is an online fridge
And
It  sulks when I buy frozen meals
And
It tells the smart meter to turn off the microwave.

My smart meter is very smart
But
That is a different poem altogether.

(Chris)

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This entry was posted in Poetry, Technology and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to My Clever Fridge

  1. del says:

    I did like this, I was so curious, so enthralled, that I printed a copy off and placed it in my fridge overnight. My fridge is a paid up member of NAFF (National Association of Fridges and Freezers) and it rejected the critique out of hand and suggested the writer must be a Blairite. On reflection I think the union must be right, I’ll go with that, I’ve never known a union to be wrong.
    Reluctantly I’ve deleted the blog.

  2. Gaynor Smith says:

    your fridge is female.

  3. J.G. says:

    Always knew you were a poet of many parts, but never suspected that charm was one of them. More than mere whimsy, this engaging little conceit is a vignette of Urban Life – Western Hemisphere – early 22nd century. Who, five hundred years from now, would understand all the references?

  4. J.G. says:

    Make that 21st.

  5. Sandra orton says:

    I have just bought a steam mop which is superior to all other household appliances,in fact I have given it divine status,can you write an ode to this extension of my arm ?

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