Then Japanese tourists gathered around
Listening intently to “do’s and don’ts”
They were excited- hyped up-
Tourism for the brave, off the beaten track
Clutching cameras, checking iPhones,
Waiting for the Vomit Express to arrive
Disgorging Romford’s Finest.

The moment arrived, suddenly, ferociously.
Carriages emptied with explosive energy
Direct from the City of London
Over-paid, under-educated devotees of Ecclesiastes
“Eat, drink and be merry.”
(Not that they knew the Bible.
What do you think I am? Gay?)

Screaming, bloated, bladders demanding action
A mad dash to the wall, to the vending machines
Zips fumbled, skirts tugged, discretion abandoned
Anywhere, anywhere at all bladders demanded
Romford’s Finest had made it home safe and sound
(Maybe there’s time for another one?)

The Japanese tourists- those with sufficent
Presence of mind to keep going-
Filmed and photographed contentedly
The coin slots filled with piss, the girls
With hitched up skirts wishing they were boys
Mouths wiped across sleeves. Oblivious.
A new tourist attraction born on Romford Station