Film Review: Napoleon (2023) (Joaquin Phoenix)

I shouldn’t go to historical biopic films. I tut-tut and nit-pick and definitely don’t enter into the spirit of the thing. Oppenheimer lulled me into a false sense of security.

Disaster!

I hated it and nearly walked out. Why? The film is incoherent.

Is it a love film? There was stagy, unconvincing rumpy-pumpy – a code for *love* – letter writing and a political divorce. So no it isn’t a love (and definitely not romantic) film

Is it a political film? Absolutely not. Napoleon is one of the greatest politicians in the 19th century. He is portrayed as leading a coup d’etat as if it was inconsequential.

“Shall we take power?” Political groupie

“Yeah alright. When?” Napoleon

“Now.” Political groupie

“OK” Napoleon

Is it a battlefield film? Absolutely yes.

So why did Scott waste time on rubbishy distractions? The filmed scenes of the battles of Toulon and Borodino were worth the price of admission alone. And Waterloo was better than OK. (The Egyptian campaign segment was utterly lame and embarrassing)

I’m not waiting for the FOUR hours director’s cut.

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