“I met with Pope Francis today. He’s a really great pope — great, great pope. You know he’s the leader of the Catholic Church — big church. “I couldn’t believe it when he told me how many Catholics there are. Way more than I thought. They have churches all over the world; some are very, very close (so close) to my hotels and golf courses. He tells me he’s elected for life, probably copying that Xi guy in China. Fantastic idea, though.”
“He told me he’s infallible. I said that’s great, you’ll never have to worry about breaking a hip. And told me about a Mary Magdalene, beautiful girl, beautiful. Apparently a hooker. I asked him for her number. Didn’t catch his answer. I’m told he said it in Latin. I give the guy credit because he doesn’t look Latino.
“He took me into the Sistine Chapel. Beautiful ceiling. Not the usual white stucco stuff. I don’t think too many people even know about this place. The paintings are great, I’m telling you. Lots of colours.”
“The Pope (great guy, by the way, knows more about the Bible than almost anybody — we got along great, I think he really likes me) told me the whole thing was painted by this young Italian. I think he’s from Los Angeles because his name is Mike L Angelo. At least that’s what Francis (we’re great friends) called him, I think. Trust me, we’re going to hear more about this guy. He’s really artistic, and everybody tells me I have the greatest eye for the best art. It’s natural, just like my incredible understanding of science. All the renowned scientists say they can’t believe it.”
“I told Frank I’d like to buy some of Mike’s art. I asked if Mike’s done anything on velvet. He’ll check (great guy). I’ll hang his stuff at Mar-a-Lago or Trump Tower. This Mike guy needs more exposure. He’s too much with the churches.
“He could paint my presidential portrait on the Capitol Dome. Or maybe a mural on my big, beautiful border wall; but just on our side. “When we left, the pope gave me a bible. Huge book. (Huge.) I told him I have the full set. You get one for free every time you take a porn star to a hotel room.”
“Unbelievable. I just saw something on TV. They claim Mike the painter died 450 years ago. Sad.”
Odeboyz's Blog 
Brilliant! Can’t wait until he meets the Chief Rabbi – we’ve got so many…
Thank you for your comment.
How is it possible to have *many* Chief Rabbi?
Here in Israel, we’ve got the Sephardic Chief Rabbi and the Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi, not to mention the Reform and Conservative Chief Rabbis. There are other sects of course. Most major cities (Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, etc.) have their own Chief Rabbis. Then each Chassidic sect has its own Chief Rabbi. The list goes on.
The old tale is told of the chap who makes it to the gates of hell where he is offered his choice of the Christian, Muslim, Agnostic or Jewish hell. He asks the devil what happens in each hell and is told exactly the same for each: he will be awoken, placed in boiling oil for an hour, extracted and placed in freezing water for 20 minutes, taken out and beaten unconscious for 15 minutes, before being woken again and put through the whole boiling, freezing and beating ordeal over and over again. After being told the same for each group, after the Jewish version he enquires what the difference is between them. Satan replies: “Well in the Jewish one, they say that the oil’s not really hot enough to be called boiling, and the water is cold, but not really freezing, and the beating….”